LXX - LXXXI
LXX. The Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci is regularly taken down for cleaning and restoration and replaced by a large photograph of a cat chasing a peanut.
LXXI. Queen Victoria was buried in the ceiling of Winchester Cathedral.
LXXII. The last man to be hanged in England was Cecil Pegley, a jilted sexton, who was hanged for a grief-crazed horse-thievery spree in the village square in Sutton Coldfield in 1972. The rope snapped and he was pardoned, only to fall into a hole full of wasps and butter three years later.
LXXIII. Wind is only a low-lying atmospheric phenomenon, it reacheth not up to the clouds. The clouds have to rely on multitudinous flocks of tiny parakeets to tow them to and fro across the skyline.
LXXIV. In 1891, Alfred, Lord Tennyson (Poet Laureate to Queen Victoria) bought forty-six dogs of various breeds, locked them in a shed and set them to work laying eggs and making honey. Tennyson was found dead of severe food poisoning a year later.
LXXV. God did not create the world in seven days; work was held up due to industrial action; leaves on the line; funding problems; four thousand poorly-designed fourteen-ton giraffes, which lay waste to the firmament and had to recalled; an accident where the world stopped and everybody got off; and finally, an acute shortage of form and void, which was very hard to get your hands on in those days, what with the oil prices and that; in the event the whole project took eighteen months with a budget overspend of lots.
LXXVI. There is an obscure law, passed in 1890 and never repealed, which permits London cab drivers to shoot penguins with crossbows.
LXXVII. Jigsaws are illegal in Switzerland.
LXXVIII. Snow is the tears of phantoms.
LXXIX. George Bernard Shaw, after producing the play Man And Superman, followed it up with a sequel, Man And Spiderman, which was never published.
LXXX. Kylie Minogue's debut single, Immobile Through Grief, is a long-deleted and much sought-after rarity.
LXXXI. Vatican City houses the world's largest bouncy castle, upon which the cardinals frolic after a hard day's theology.
LXXI. Queen Victoria was buried in the ceiling of Winchester Cathedral.
LXXII. The last man to be hanged in England was Cecil Pegley, a jilted sexton, who was hanged for a grief-crazed horse-thievery spree in the village square in Sutton Coldfield in 1972. The rope snapped and he was pardoned, only to fall into a hole full of wasps and butter three years later.
LXXIII. Wind is only a low-lying atmospheric phenomenon, it reacheth not up to the clouds. The clouds have to rely on multitudinous flocks of tiny parakeets to tow them to and fro across the skyline.
LXXIV. In 1891, Alfred, Lord Tennyson (Poet Laureate to Queen Victoria) bought forty-six dogs of various breeds, locked them in a shed and set them to work laying eggs and making honey. Tennyson was found dead of severe food poisoning a year later.
LXXV. God did not create the world in seven days; work was held up due to industrial action; leaves on the line; funding problems; four thousand poorly-designed fourteen-ton giraffes, which lay waste to the firmament and had to recalled; an accident where the world stopped and everybody got off; and finally, an acute shortage of form and void, which was very hard to get your hands on in those days, what with the oil prices and that; in the event the whole project took eighteen months with a budget overspend of lots.
LXXVI. There is an obscure law, passed in 1890 and never repealed, which permits London cab drivers to shoot penguins with crossbows.
LXXVII. Jigsaws are illegal in Switzerland.
LXXVIII. Snow is the tears of phantoms.
LXXIX. George Bernard Shaw, after producing the play Man And Superman, followed it up with a sequel, Man And Spiderman, which was never published.
LXXX. Kylie Minogue's debut single, Immobile Through Grief, is a long-deleted and much sought-after rarity.
LXXXI. Vatican City houses the world's largest bouncy castle, upon which the cardinals frolic after a hard day's theology.
posted by Aaron at 6:32 pm
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